Setting boundaries is beneficial for both parents and grandparents. For parents, boundaries create a sense of consistency and supports their child’s development. For grandparents, boundaries provide clear expectations and allows you to promote a supportive environment for the child to grow up in. Here are some tips for creating a respectful relationship with your child as a new grandparent.

Avoid criticizing parenting decisions.

Criticizing them, especially in front of the child, can damage your relationship. Every parent makes mistakes and your adult children will learn from their mistakes just like you did. It’s okay if they do things differently than you did and in the end, sometimes saying nothing is the best thing you can do.

Offer advice when requested.

Remember, your adult children have access to many more resources than you did at their age. They get advice from pediatricians, other parents, and reputable online resources. If you feel like you need to offer input, ask if they’re open to hearing it first. They might already know more than you think!

Say no (if you must).

Some grandparents enjoy helping out regularly and others are happy to occasionally help. You do not have to say yes to every request to babysit your grandchildren. Never take on more than you can handle or do not have the energy for.

Set expectations.

Be honest with your adult children about what you’re willing and able to do. Discuss things such as how often you’re available, activities you are not comfortable with like driving, or desired compensation.

Remember your role.

As a grandparent, your role is to support, not challenge. You don’t have to agree with every parenting choice, but you do need to respect those choices. Keeping the same routines and rules as the parents provides consistency to the child’s life.

Keep communication open.

Ask questions and offer positive feedback to your adult children. When they feel supported, they feel more comfortable asking for advice in the future.

For more information on safety practices, preventing injuries, and establishing a good relationship from the start, check out  Grandparents: Getting Started. This program is taught by certified Safe Sitter® Instructors across the country. Use our Find A Class feature to connect with Providers in your area and inquire if they have offer this program. If you cannot find a class near you, you can purchase a copy of the Grandparents: Getting Started Participant Handbook.