How to Handle Siblings Who Are Always Fighting While Babysitting

Sibling fights are one of the most common challenges babysitters face — and one of the hardest to manage. This Babysitter Boss episode walks you through how to prevent sibling arguments before they start, how to settle fights fairly when they do happen, and when it’s time to call the parents for backup.

Summary

  • Prevent sibling fights before they start by letting each child do their own thing — siblings don't always have to play together.
  • If a younger sibling is pestering an older one, distract the younger child by asking about their favorite toy or offering to play their favorite game.
  • When siblings fight over a toy or game, use turns instead of sharing — set a timer for equal time and supervise the transition.
  • When arguments break out, stay patient, control your temper, and firmly tell the children how you have decided to resolve it — you are in charge.
  • If a fight turns physical, separate the children immediately; time-outs should be no more than one minute per year of age and are not effective with children under two.
  • If children continue to fight and won't listen, it is okay to call the parents or a backup adult for help — out-of-control children are a safety concern.

Video Transcript

Siblings always get along. Wait? What? Anyone who’s ever had a sibling, been a sibling, or babysat for them knows that just isn’t true.

Of course, siblings fight. But while it’s one thing when you argue with your own siblings. It’s a whole other thing when you’re trying to keep the peace among kids you’re babysitting. You’re not paid to get along with your siblings, but you are paid to make sure other parents’ kids are as safe and happy as possible.

So, what do you do when the kids you’re babysitting just won’t stop fighting?

How to Prevent Sibling Fights Before They Start

First, try to prevent fights before they even start. Just because they’re siblings doesn’t mean they have to play together. Let them each do their own thing. And if little brother or sister is annoying their older sibling by trying to tag a long, distract the little ones by asking them to show you their favorite toy or offer to play their favorite game with them.

How to Handle Fighting Over Toys or Games

Sometimes siblings will fight over the same toy or game. Instead of telling them to share, tell them to take turns and then give them a schedule that gives equal time to each. Set a timer to remind you when it’s time for the other sibling’s turn and make sure you supervise the transition.

Nice job, buddy.

How to Settle an Argument Between Siblings

Even when siblings enjoy playing together, arguments can break out. When that happens try to settle the argument fairly. Be patient, control your temper, and firmly tell them how you have decided to resolve the argument. They may not like your decision, but you’re in charge.

What to Do When a Sibling Fight Turns Physical

If the fight gets physical, separate the children immediately. They may each need to take a break in a separate area of the room in order to get themselves under control. Make sure you can supervise each of them during the time-out break, which should be no more than one minute per year of age and shouldn’t be used with children younger than two since it’s not really effective with toddlers who can’t understand or follow rules.

When break time is up, calmly ask each of them if they’re ready to start over. If they continue to argue or fight, you may have to tell them to play separately.

When to Call the Parents for Help

Now, if they don’t listen to you and keep on fighting, well you may need to call their parents or a back-up adult like a neighbor for help. And that’s okay.

They keep on fighting. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried giving them breaks. Uh, do you have any ideas? I need some help.

After all, kids who are out of control are a danger to themselves and others. There is no magic formula for making kids get along all the time. Fighting among siblings will happen and parents know this. Always talk with the parents at the end of the job and let them know how the siblings have gotten along. And be open to their suggestions about handling sibling squabbles in the future.

That’s all there is to it! So, next time you’re babysitting for the Bickersons, just remember, keep it under control and you’ve got this!

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